wecomeashumansandleaveasinspirations

better late than never? i dont know in this case, seems like itd be better never than late. you do know that im with these people everyday right? that if you were to become friends with them again that you would have to see me. its not a problem to me, but i know you wouldnt be okay with it. do you think that they would just forget about me and choose you? just because they used to be your best friends doesnt mean that they arent my best friends too. im sorry for whati did to make all of this start but the course of events could have been different if everyone involved would have just been calm about it. i hope it works out for you though because no matter how you feel ill still always want you to be happy, even if its not with me. your logic is a little messed up but im not holding anything against you

i wish amc would start hiring already so i can save up and move to wilmington

i think im going to go insane. i have a job interview tomorrow morning. but whats the point you dont care. i could just go up to new york and make way more money and have a chance at being happy. you wouldnt care if that happened either. im at a crossroad. i just wanna sleep forever

i cant do anything right. hearing you say those words “its just not there anymore” i breakdown everytime. ive never cried so much. i really lost everything

people always seem to fall out of love with me. im nothing special. tell me i am and i call you a liar. no one gains or loses anything by knowing me or being involved with me. i bring nothing to the table. im lazy, pathetic, overweight, and ugly. its never extenuating circumstances, its just me.

I don’t fucking get it. What is it about me? My entire life people have always just lost interest and feeling in me and then decide to just give up. I didn’t fucking do anything this time. I tried really hard, really fucking hard to get you back. I think that were starting to get somewhere but nope, that’s just me being stupid. Instead you lead me the fuck on. Had me thinking you were excited for this too. The next fucking day you’re already on a different fucking mind set. You say that monday was only the way it was because we hadn’t been intimate in a week. It was the way it was for me because no matter how many fucking bad times we have I’m in fucking love with you. I’m not hiding behind any imaginary walls. I’m out here skin and bone telling you how it is. I don’t hold anything back. And I always try to believe that you’re being the same way but that’s never it. You keep everything in the box in the back of your heartless soul until its too late for me. But that doesn’t even matter because you say one thing but it always changes. You can’t ever decide and just stick with it. That’s what hurts me the most. You really never treated me the way I deserved and I don’t know why I always would look past that. That hurt me, all the time. Just like it hurt you. So I don’t know why I stuck around. Hoping that it would change. I can’t type about this anymore. But I imagine one of two things happening from here 1. You move right along to the next guy and we never talk again 2. I accept this bullshit and we become friends and in less than a month patch things up again. Who knows? Grrr fuck